


to be who we wanna be

by CherFleur



Series: SW prompts [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Blame Blackkat, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Illegal Padawan Acquisition, Maul time travels and accidentally found family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:20:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27167170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherFleur/pseuds/CherFleur
Summary: Before Master Maul, he hadn't had a name. Now he did.Before Master Maul, Jon hadn't had a family. Now he did.Jon didn't want to go back to before Master Maul.
Relationships: Feral & Darth Maul & Savage Opress, Jon Antilles & Darth Maul, Savage & Feral & Jon
Series: SW prompts [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971988
Comments: 45
Kudos: 669





	to be who we wanna be

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [and lost boys like me are free](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27163511) by [blackkat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat). 



> Kat's discord (myself included) wanted those cuddles bro.

Jon hadn’t been sure what to expect when his new Master had woken up with a scowl on his face, fangs gleaming in the low light of the shuttle. Dark Woman had made sure that he could function even in complete darkness, but Jon worried about tripping and breaking something important. It was just that he hadn’t figured out how to tell his new Master that Humans didn’t quite work the same way as Zabrak.

He’d never run into a Zabrak who looked like Master Maul before – he’d never had a _name_ before, which he was still in awe of – all bold color and sharp points. He looked fierce and intimidating, like a Jedi warrior should be, even if he tended towards keeping himself updated on the holofeeds rather than finding slavers to disband.

Master Maul was the kind of Jedi that Dark Woman would have wanted him to be, and yet he didn’t – he hadn’t –

The training was different. It was still tiring, but it wasn’t exhausting. Jon rarely was bleeding or burned when it ended, he wasn’t fervently praying to the Force to keep the dark out.

There was Light in Master Maul, but he hid it behind shadows and Darkness. Was that what he was going to teach Jon? Was he better suited to protecting the Light by guarding it with the viciousness of the Dark? Dark Woman had always been so disappointed in the Darkness that had grown in Jon during the course of his training, the _failure_ of him.

But Master Maul was a blaze of light-dark- _self_ in the Force, and he was so _strong_. Perhaps Jon just hadn’t been learning it right. Maybe Master Maul would teach him how to do it his way, since he’d failed as the Dark Woman’s Padawan and gotten himself lost.

Jon had hope, just a little – even though he knew better, that the Force willed what it would – that maybe this Master would be proud of him. Or at least, maybe, not disappointed.

It was always worse, after Jon had failed the Dark Woman’s expectations, and so far, he’d managed to avoid that with Master Maul. He tried not to hope, but… but it was hard.

Sometimes it was all he had.

Now though, with Master Maul waking up with a scowl instead of a frown, he worried that maybe – maybe he had –

“We need to make a stop, Ap – Padawan,” Master Maul’s voice was smooth and cultured, sliding over whatever correction he’d made. Jon wondered sometimes if Master Maul had a different primary language. “And I need you to hide as best you can while I’m off the ship.”

Jon nodded and blinked wide eyes up at his Master.

“That _witch_ won’t take anything else from me.”

“Yes, Master Maul,” he answered obediently, tugging on the slightly too long sleeve of the small robes his Master had gifted him. “I’ll hide very well.”

“Good.”

 _Please don’t leave me there,_ Jon couldn’t say, ducking his head and turning to find a good cranny to hide himself inside when they landed. _Don’t forget I’m hiding._

Sometimes Mast – Dark Woman would stop looking for him when he was hiding, even if he _knew_ she knew where he was. She just didn’t care enough to tell him when she no longer required him to do it, and he’d have to hunt her down later.

The planet they were going to was shrouded in mist and darkness and it made Jon feel queasy. Master Maul grasped the back of his neck like he was a tooka kit and shook him lightly, the gesture almost familiar now, and turning towards comfort.

Those brilliantly sunset colored eyes flickered towards him, and Jon nodded in understanding as they started through the atmosphere. There were dangerous things on this planet, things that would gladly consume Jon, and he wasn’t strong enough to protect himself should they find him.

Master Maul, hidden Light and protected by that vicious Darkness, was safer than Jon was, his body small and his Dark a struggle to contain.

Tucked into a void behind the bulkhead, he pressed his eyes to his knees and started to coil himself deep, deep into the Force. Where it was quiet and peaceful and the pain of failure with Dark Woman couldn’t find him, just as no one else would think to look for him. Jon felt Master Maul leave the ship and knew that if he was found by those hungry things, that he would be on his own.

So Jon was very, very quiet. He was very, very still.

Jon was good at being quiet and still.

People – women – came onto the ship at one point, looking around nosily, spending time in the bunk that Maul had given Jon. His Master spent most of his time meditating or doing katas in the hold when he wasn’t training Jon or perusing the holofeed.

Jon stayed very still, and very quiet, and they left.

He supposed it was good that he was so unused to having belongings that he was very careful with them. That he didn’t leave his things scattered around like he’d seen children do, and instead kept them in the protected compartment in the wall behind the edge of the bunk.

Hunger came and went, claustrophobia came and went, fear came and went, time came and went. Until.

Master Maul was shrouded in vicious satisfaction, but he was also muted in a way that said if Jon didn’t know his Force signature, hadn’t been waiting for him, he wouldn’t have known he was there. He blended into the dark shadows of the Force on this planet naturally, like instinctive camouflage, and Jon wondered again, where his Master was from.

He’d made it clear that having a name was important, that an identity was simply a part of what made them Jedi, and that to change yourself to fit someone else’s views was anathema.

Footsteps against the deck plates.

More than Jon was expecting.

Master Maul walked surprisingly lightly, silent when he wished despite the heavy metal of his prosthetics. These feet were quiet as well, but it had less to do with skill and perhaps more to do with size and _what if he was being replaced_ –

Words that Jon couldn’t hear were murmured by that cultured voice that Jon had been fervently following every word of since he’d been taken as a found Padawan. Then the smaller footsteps were getting closer and –

And was someone _sniffing_?

One of the sets of footsteps stopped in front of Jon’s hiding space, and then there was the sound of something scraping along the edges of the bulkhead. Sudden airflow and brilliant light as Jon looked up in surprise, blinking hard and quickly as he was blinded by being exposed.

“Did you just _sniff me out_?” fell from his lips incredulously.

“It’s a baby!” there was a foreign lilt to the voice, and a slight lisp that spoke of missing teeth. “Brother, look!”

The blob in front of him was becoming more people shaped, when another, smaller blob that was still bigger than Jon popped up behind the first. Shape turned into small horns and brilliantly marked young Zabrak, gold and orange eyes reflecting light startlingly.

The larger blob that had literally _sniffed_ him out put his hand into the little hidey hold and grabbed Jon by the back of the neck in a similar manner to Master Maul to pull him out. Once he was on his feet again, he looked up in nervous curiosity at the slightly lighter colored Zabrak who was half afoot taller than Jon. That one had a horn pattern – that thought smaller – was very similar to Master Maul’s, while the smaller one with the wide orange eyes had a slightly different pattern.

Tentatively, he reached out to them in the Force, assured now that Master Maul was back that it was safe to stop hiding. Well, that and the fact that he’d set the other Zabrak to finding him with a means that Jon had never considered before.

Dark Woman hadn’t taught him about evading scent trackers, not yet.

Perhaps this was the beginning of a lesson on it, an introduction to a training method that Jon had never encountered before.

The taller one blinked in surprise as Jon’s Force presence reached out, tilting his head to the side curiously, something almost hard entering his gaze. The smaller one made a soft, inhuman noise of curiosity and reached out in turn even as the larger turned to look up at Master Maul.

Who was watching them all with some strange mixture of amusement and satisfaction. Jon didn’t understand, but he didn’t _think_ that he was getting replaced.

“The baby is spirit touched too?” asked the larger, the missing lower teeth distinct now that Jon wasn’t blinded. “We gonna protect him?”

“He’s _my_ Padawan,” Master Maul stated, lifting a brow and a lip over sharp fangs in an almost snarl. “You’re all mine.”

This settled something in the larger one as the other curious Zabrak stepped forward, bright Force presence slowly, carefully uncoiling. Oh, he was very good at that. It was different from how Jon did it, but both of these Zabrak were hidden in the Force, twisted to be held separate.

Maybe they were worried about the evil on the planet? The dark nauseaus thing that the women had carried when they entered the ship.

“Master Maul,” Jon spoke up, turning to the red Jedi. “There were women on the ship.”

The man scowled and snorted with irritation.

“Savage, look for Nightsister tricks,” his Master stepped towards the cockpit. “Jon, show Feral around.”

“Okay, Brother!”

“Yes Master.”

Jon looked at the two younger Zabrak with surprise before the larger scampered off to do as he was told, and the smaller one leaned towards him. The curiosity in those luminous orange eyes and slippery Force presence, the patterns on his skin interesting and something soothing radiating from him. He was only slightly taller than Jon was, and he had all of his teeth, as Jon saw when his mouth opened slightly and he sniffed Jon as well.

“Brother?” he asked faintly, confused. “Master Maul has a brother?”

“More than one,” the one who was apparently Feral spoke softly. “There’s magic involved, we don’t really get it.”

Genetics wasn’t magic, but okay.

“You’re coming with us?” Jon flinched at how pathetic he sounded, but something almost _wanting_ was starting to prick at his chest; he’d rarely been around anyone his age. “If I’m showing you around…”

“Maul said that we could be safe from the Nightsisters with him,” Feral’s eyes were studying Jon’s face and something in his face softened, if possible. “Can I touch your hair?”

“I… guess?”

“You can touch my horns in return,” Feral decided, lifting his hand slowly to put it on top of Jon’s messy hair. “But be careful of my left ones, they’re sore. I hit my head in training.”

Bewildered, unsure, he let Feral pet him and didn’t dare lift a hand to touch those little horns, though he kind of wanted to. This was strange enough as it was, he wasn’t used to physical contact like this, even if he was becoming used to the way that Maul hauled him around by his clothes and the back of his neck.

Still, careful little fingers in his hair was… pleasant, and it had the hair standing up on his body and something _warm_ radiating from his scalp down.

“Where’s the nest?” interrupted where Jon’s eyes had fallen closed where he was standing, hand petting still. “We should bond, if we’re going to be hunt-brothers.”

“Nest?”

And that was how Feral herded Jon into the bed and Savage found them like that, with little limbs curled together and Jon’s heart in his throat. That warm feeling was all over and it made his heart hurt and his head fuzzy, but the Force seemed content in a way that Jon was unfamiliar with. The larger of the younger brother’s climbed over them as well, his bigger body between Feral and Jon and the doorway.

Jon wasn’t sure what to do but lay there and try not to vibrate out of his skin, so he let Savage move him to a comfortable position and Feral pet his hair.

It was – he wasn’t – Jon thought this might be nice, once his heart stopped trying to pop out of his chest.

The two brothers hummed back and forth over Jon, the sound nice but something he was sure _he’d_ never be able to produce with a human throat. It fizzed against his ears and the Force around them was comfortable and shielding, unlike anything that Jon had ever felt before.

A little smoky, still secret, but now Jon was invited into the secret.

He didn’t know how long had passed when Feral wriggled out of the nest of blankets and pattered off somewhere, chirping slightly.

After a little while, he returned, and Master Maul with him.

Jon was wide eyed and confused, muzzy with a desire to sleep but also full of energy that he didn’t know what to do with, wanting to burrow closer and also run away. Master Maul watched Feral climb up onto the bunk again and curl under Jon – and incidentally Savage who was covering him – before huffing a breath.

He expected his Master to turn around and leave, to have something infinitely more important to do, but he didn’t. He didn’t.

Master Maul stepped into the room and seated himself beside the bunk, leaning back against it so that he faced the doorway. Tension that Jon hadn’t noticed in the two Zabrak coiled around him eased, and the two made a clicking noise at each other before falling silent.

The Dark inside of Master Maul that hid that brilliant Light expanded around them all, and Jon… Jon supposed that this was what safety felt like.

So as the man took out a datapad to work, still staying with them, Jon let his eyes fall shut, let the jittery feelings in his gut and humming over his skin lull him. This was alright, because Master Maul would have told him if it weren’t, would have kicked them all out of the impromptu nest.

But it was okay, so Jon slept.

It was shameful, but he was glad that Master Maul had taken him as Padawan, instead of Dark Woman.


End file.
